The Trifecta

A girl only needs three things: a boyfriend, a perfect job, and a cute apartment.

I'd like to take full credit for this idea, but I stole it from one of my beloved chick-lit novels (from which the genre of my existence is based upon): Single girl trying to establish her career and love-life while trying to find time to breathe amongst the excitement and challenges of the big city. The typical heroine, a 20-something single gal is a little quirky, a little insecure, and sometimes loses her balance while juggling a few shopping bags while wearing really cute heels. But when she achieves all three basic needs, the stars align, the clouds part, and she enters womanhood. This is called The Trifecta. (And I can take full credit on the name.)

But for most of the girls out there, struggling in rise to the top of our entry-level jobs, sifting through the eligible and not-so-eligible bachelors of New York City, and living in shoe box apartments the size of the closets from our suburban childhoods...the stars very seldom align. In fact, studies show that most New York girls balance on a 2 out of 3 ratio. Which, if you were dealing with a Devil Wears Prada boss or a Sex & the City line-up of men, probably isn't all that bad. Mediocrity, in this scenario, is pretty common place. But in a quest for beating the odds and achieving her Trifecta, this New York City Girl started getting closer to not 2, but all 3 of her essential ingredients to the good life.



Things started turning around for her when she kissed goodbye to her quiet Astoria apartment and sought the greener pastures of Manhattan. She found a 2-bedroom converted into 5, complete with 5 other roommates, including the chocolate-eating mouse that likes to hide in dresser drawers and ovens, with an open room that fit her things but couldn't fit a window. Doesn't look so hot on paper, but it was Manhattan, baby!, and that was what mattered.

Apartment: Check!





Then she met a guy who not only helped her moved into this new shoe box, but offered to! And took her out and cooked her nice dinners, and came to see her in plays, and made her laugh. And listened to her when she complained about the mouse, and laughed at her when she imitated the kids she taught, and made her heart beat faster than the express train she was now taking every day.

Boyfriend: Check!





Then she started getting more teaching artist jobs, and didn't have to hostess at the fancy french restaurant anymore. Then those jobs lead to a full-time job. And finally she was getting benefits and paid to do what she loved. Like a real normal person!

Job: Check!


She had done it! The Trifecta was in place! Her world was shifting and birds were singing and people were dancing as she walked down Broadway and life was one giant music video.

And then, on July 19, 2011, between the hours of 3:30 and 4:30pm... it happened. "We're cutting the theatre program," and "I think we're going to lose the apartment! Something's wrong with the lease."

It was too good to be true... She knew it. The odds were too low of actually achieving the true, eternal bliss of being a woman.

She met up with the boyfriend, who asked her what happened. And instead of crying, or screaming, or crumbling to the ground and disinegrating into thin air as she would have done four years ago... she laughed. Because somehow she knew, in that moment, that the world wasn't going to end, that she had what it took to get through what was just a bump in her road. If there was one thing she had learned in New York was that if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere...

Besides, she still had one element of the Trifecta. And that one was a pretty good one. And really, somewhere hidden in the meaning and value of what "boyfriend" stood for, she realized all this time that she had been aiming for the wrong elements in the Trifecta. Silly girl! All that mattered now was surrounding yourself with the people you love, believing in and loving yourself, and staying on the path to fill your life with joy by doing what you love.

A girl really only needs three thing: Love, Love, and Love.

Two Truths & A Lie

I like my life. Pretty much everything about it. Even my name. But let's not forget I'm an actress. So sometimes...I like to lie and pretend I'm someone else.

Let's also not forget we're in NYC. A very neighbor-friendly city where people like to chat you up on the street and the subway or in line at Whole Foods. And as a young woman, you just want to be careful that you don't give out too much information to a stranger. Unless you want him to stalk you or take you out on an awkward date.

So here I am in Whole Foods. (Which describing that scene could be a blog post in itself because that store is massive, crowded, and overwhelming.) I'm picking up snacks last-minute for a friend's house party as everyone else is stocking up on organic, free-range, soy products for the impending blizzard. I have 1,2,3,4,5 things. An express line would be ideal. But I get herded like cattle into what the salesboy is calling "the checkout line" at the same time as 12 other cattle. Five minutes later, as I'm holding my 5 items awkwardly, still in line, a voice to my left says, "Hey, do you mind me asking...if you've only got 5 items, why didn't you opt for the 10 Items or Less Lane?"

"Oh, I didn't know there was an express line. I just got shoved into this one."

He laughs at me. "Yea, you can save yourself time next time. You're the perfect candidate for that line."

I laugh at him. "Yea, I don't really ever shop here, so I didn't know that."

Which was also - I guess - my invitation for him to continue speaking. "Oh, where do you normally shop?"

It's Saturday. We're in a very long line. I'm in a good mood. I like talking. I like people. So...I decide I will let this man flirt with me. But I will change a few things about myself so he's not actually flirting with me.

"TriBeCa. That's where I live." (Lie. That's where I would want to live. If I become a famous actress or go back in time and was reborn as a trustfund baby.)

"Oh, are you a student at NYU?"

Yes, I still look 20!, I think, as a coyly respond, "No, not anymore. I work in advertising." (Lie. And please don't ask me where...Oooh, I can prevent that!) "What about you?"

And this goes on, and we make comments and jokes on the line and Whole Foods and the blizzard, and he asks me where I'm going tonight.

"A friend's house for a get together." (Truth.)
"Where?"
"Uptown." (Lie.) Are you kidding - I'd be stupid to reveal my evening's location. I have a prestigious degree in Adverting, after all.

Aww, I know where this conversation is going. The poor guy is going to ask for my number because we've had a pleasant conversation and I'm not going to give it to him because he thinks I'm somebody else. Even if we went out and fell in love I'd eventually have to reveal my true identity and he'd never forgive me for lying. I can always resort to "I have a boyfriend" if it comes up. Then his heart won't crumble into 10 pieces or less here in the checkout line.

But he doesn't ask for my number. Instead, at that moment when I'm about to proceed to the cash register, like a gentleman he holds out his hand and says "I'm Rob. Here, let me give you my card." He's a senior assistant district attorney. "Give me a call if you're ever in trouble...."

"Taylor." (Lie.)

"Taylor. You look like a Taylor. Good talking to you, Taylor."

Need I prove why I love my life? (Truth.)

Sunshine

I. Hate. Snow.

Yes, a strong objection for the girl who has "LOVE" written on post-it notes all over her bedroom walls. But seriously, I hate it. And can you blame me right now? It snows every other day. And no, New York City does not magically expand to accomodate for the massive amounts of snowfall.

As you avid readers might recall, a year ago as we entered 2010, I vowed to fall in love with winter. And fall in love, I did, for about two weeks. Seriously, Mister Winter, how could anybody still be happy after we've had the snowiest January EVER in NYC?

So now, I vow - and challenge all of you, too - to ignore the snow.

That's right - ignore it. It's not there. Like when little kids cover their eyes and think they've disappeared and you can't see them. I am covering my eyes to the snow. (My family likes to remind me I will always have the mindset of a 4 year old, here.)

In fact, noticing now that there's no snow outside, I'm feeling better. In fact, I'm radiant daydreaming about all the things that do make me smile (besides a sunny day):

~ When my students give me hugs and laugh at my funny faces...and make them back at me
~ When I go to the theatre and Chris gives me a huge hug because we've chosen working at a children's theatre over making lots of money a few more blocks downtown
~ When I make my tea in the morning
~ Yoga class
~ When my students say the simplest things that make me laugh or want to cry, like when I say "repeat after me" and they actually say "repeat after me," and "Miss Jodie! Look I'm a cat!" when all they're doing is running around in a circle
~ When we get into heated debates in grad school about the necessity of arts in the schools
~ When I saw my sister at her track meet a couple of weeks ago
~ When my dad texts me something like "it's the weekend, time for a beer" and thinks he's tweeting
~ When the 2 year old I babysit reads books to me
~ When a good song comes on the radio and I get up and dance in front of my mirror
~ At improv, supported by a group of genuine, down-to-earth friends
~ Wrapped up in a certain someone's arms
~ When I'm onstage
~ When I'm playing a character and she feels something so incredible I feel so lucky I get to, too
~ When I feel something incredible
~ Walking around the city exploring new places
~ Looking at the skyline of New York City from the subway platform in Queens and thinking..."yea, I made it. Here I am."
~ Running along the river, thinking..."yea, here I am."
~ Being with those I love, thinking..."yea, here we are."

So I was walking through the mist of a light wintery mix this morning and a bluejay stopped right in front of me. I couldn't remember if I've ever seen a real bluejay up this close. I smiled. And stood there for a minute. In the gross snow and sleet and slush and cold and wind in the dead of winter. I thought, this is where I am right now. And that's really all I've got. So smile - even if the sun isn't out.

If we're all smiling, maybe we'll create enough sunshine on our own to melt all this snow.