Sunshine

I. Hate. Snow.

Yes, a strong objection for the girl who has "LOVE" written on post-it notes all over her bedroom walls. But seriously, I hate it. And can you blame me right now? It snows every other day. And no, New York City does not magically expand to accomodate for the massive amounts of snowfall.

As you avid readers might recall, a year ago as we entered 2010, I vowed to fall in love with winter. And fall in love, I did, for about two weeks. Seriously, Mister Winter, how could anybody still be happy after we've had the snowiest January EVER in NYC?

So now, I vow - and challenge all of you, too - to ignore the snow.

That's right - ignore it. It's not there. Like when little kids cover their eyes and think they've disappeared and you can't see them. I am covering my eyes to the snow. (My family likes to remind me I will always have the mindset of a 4 year old, here.)

In fact, noticing now that there's no snow outside, I'm feeling better. In fact, I'm radiant daydreaming about all the things that do make me smile (besides a sunny day):

~ When my students give me hugs and laugh at my funny faces...and make them back at me
~ When I go to the theatre and Chris gives me a huge hug because we've chosen working at a children's theatre over making lots of money a few more blocks downtown
~ When I make my tea in the morning
~ Yoga class
~ When my students say the simplest things that make me laugh or want to cry, like when I say "repeat after me" and they actually say "repeat after me," and "Miss Jodie! Look I'm a cat!" when all they're doing is running around in a circle
~ When we get into heated debates in grad school about the necessity of arts in the schools
~ When I saw my sister at her track meet a couple of weeks ago
~ When my dad texts me something like "it's the weekend, time for a beer" and thinks he's tweeting
~ When the 2 year old I babysit reads books to me
~ When a good song comes on the radio and I get up and dance in front of my mirror
~ At improv, supported by a group of genuine, down-to-earth friends
~ Wrapped up in a certain someone's arms
~ When I'm onstage
~ When I'm playing a character and she feels something so incredible I feel so lucky I get to, too
~ When I feel something incredible
~ Walking around the city exploring new places
~ Looking at the skyline of New York City from the subway platform in Queens and thinking..."yea, I made it. Here I am."
~ Running along the river, thinking..."yea, here I am."
~ Being with those I love, thinking..."yea, here we are."

So I was walking through the mist of a light wintery mix this morning and a bluejay stopped right in front of me. I couldn't remember if I've ever seen a real bluejay up this close. I smiled. And stood there for a minute. In the gross snow and sleet and slush and cold and wind in the dead of winter. I thought, this is where I am right now. And that's really all I've got. So smile - even if the sun isn't out.

If we're all smiling, maybe we'll create enough sunshine on our own to melt all this snow.