Going Insane

Remind me when I'm having kids of my own not to have 20 at once...

My Kindergarten class is a handful, to say the least. I'm coming home with marker stains on my hands and shirt, cupcake frosting in my hair, a headache, a hoarse voice, and a quenching thirst for red wine.

All day long I hear, "Ms. Jodie! Look!," "Ms. Jodie! Help!," "Waaaa! Ms. Jodie!"

"Peter pushed me!" "Kyra kicked me!" "Jayvon hit me in the eye!" And Peter, Kyra, and Jayvon all say, "Jayrel hit me first!"

"Stop hitting each other," I say. "Keep your hands to yourself," I say. "Don't touch each other," I say.

But a minute later, they're at it again. So either 1.) They don't listen to me, or 2.) They hear me and choose to hit anyway. So maybe I should just stop saying "Stop" and let them tear each other apart? Hm...something seems wrong with that solution.

Maybe my true test this year is to see if I can remain sane while insanely repeating the same things all day long? They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Well then I'm officially insane: I keep telling these kids to stop hitting, expecting them to listen to me and stop - even though they never have, and it seems they never will.

I don't know what's driving me more insane: their constant bickering or my own voice saying "Stop!"

Regardless, in the ingenue's effort to remain ever-positive, I must focus on the joys these 5 year olds bring to my day in order to retain some bit of sanity. Today I had them pick a name out of a hat of another student in the class. They then had to make a card for that person with nice pictures and nice words on it. Then I made a big deal of presenting each child with his or her homemade card. Even the meanest kid in class made a card! And putting my acting skills to use, I made the biggest deal of these cards. "Oh my gosh Shakira!!! Maxwell made you a card!!! Isn't that so nice of him?!" (as if it was his own unique idea, not my explicit directions...)

And for five brief minutes, no one hit and no one complained and no one was mean and Ms. Jodie didn't have to say "Stop!" For five brief minutes they were nice to each other. And that gives me hope that I'm not insane - just persistent.