I didn’t get to go home for Easter today. We had two performances of “The Velveteen Rabbit,” at Manhattan Children's Theatre and people actually bought tickets to see a show on Easter Sunday, so I couldn’t go home to Massachusetts. It wasn’t even like they were all non-Christian. I think these people were celebrating the holiday by taking their kids to the theatre. But rest assured, my Dad has been sending me text updates all day on the Easter at Home. The first was while I was still sleeping.
8:45am: Egg Hunt 2010: Lindsey: 32, Michael: 30.
And then,
8:49am: Make that Lindsey: 34, Michael: 33. Forgot the foyer.
Then several picture texts of everyone at the party. Oh, and the empty parking lot at church, to prove that he was one of the first to arrive at mass. Good job, Dad.
Of all the important holidays, I’ve only missed one Thanksgiving because I had to work at Letterman. That was sad, but I spent the night with other friends stuck in town and we actually cooked a really good turkey dinner and made three different pies, which we sampled in three different sittings and got full three different times. Gramma’s Old-Fashioned Apple Pie, Awesome Chocolate Cream Pie, and Casey’s Attempt at Pumpkin Pie. I guess that Thanksgiving was memorable in itself if I still remember the names of what pies we ate.
Anyway, this was my first Easter not to go home. I’m a little sad, but anticipating my loneliness, I conveniently scheduled a random 3-day vacation last week to visit the fam. I got my Pfau Pfix and was able to brave my Easter Sunday with a smile on my face. Very necessary, considering I had to be the velveteen rabbit and make all the kids smile today. The show must go on, right?! They all came in wearing their Easter outfits and carrying their new baskets. It was cute. But it still didn't quite feel like Easter. (Although you'd think the parallel between the Easter "Bunny" and my character of the Velveteen "Rabbit" would be enough...) After the shows, all I wanted to do was head back to my apartment and go for a run in my park. Well, Astoria Park. But I call it my park. Even though, the reason I wanted to run more than anything was because I knew at the park I would see families and friends barbecuing, playing soccer, laughing, talking, being together. Some of them don't have yards of their own, so they take their tables and chairs and food to the park. Seeing these strangers celebrate made me feel good. Even though I wasn’t sitting celebrating with them, I still felt like I was part of something. And it was such a nice day out. And I’m just convinced nothing can go wrong when it’s a nice day out.
While running I realized I am lucky in the regard that what kept me from visiting home today was doing what I love. I was performing a show that is very near and dear to my heart. A show about love and family and the sacrifices we have to make if we’re going to love and be loved. How fitting for today.
I guess I am getting older, and part of living on your own means not being able to celebrate every holiday with your family. And that’s ok. I’m in the stage in my life where it’s ok to do things on my own, be by myself, and embrace independence. Someday I’ll have a husband and kids of my own and wish I had this solitude and silence.
Nahhhh! I’d never wish for this again! Part of growing up, part of life, is accepting where you are in the moment. So today, I am alone on Easter. And that’s ok. But another part of life is striving and hoping for your dreams. So today, I’m also comforted by the faith that I will not always be alone on Easter.
Ooo, text from Dad.
7:21pm: Mom just found another egg!
You know, with all these new fangled text messaging things - I'm not really alone at all. :)
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