Three-Quarters of an Inch is a Big Deal

I used to hate when kids at camp would say they were "11 and 3/4 years old." Or when people say they've lived for New York for "4 and a quarter years." Or friends say they've been dating for "14 months, 2 weeks, and 6 days." Round to the nearest whole number, people! Do we really need to clarify on that extra 1/4 of a year? Well, lately I've found that there is one thing we do have to be that specific with. Our height. Well, specifically, my height.

I am 5 feet, 4 and 3/4 inches.

That is not quite 5'5".

And not as short as 5'4".

And yes - it does matter!

In auditioning for soaps, where people are shorter, I feel like I need to tell them that I'm 5'4" - which sounds a lot shorter than 5'5". But when a casting notice says "medium to tall," I say I'm 5'5" because that sounds a lot taller than just 5'4".

In the winter, when I wear heels or boots a lot more, I tend to round up and lie, saying I'm 5'5". I mean, the heel does add more than that 1/4 inch. But in the summer, wearing flats or sandals, if I say I'm 5'5", people don't quite believe me. "Really?" They say. Well, no, actually I am 5'4". ...and a liar.

I never say that I'm 5' 4 3/4" because that sounds ridiculous. But it is the truth. Whenever I slip and tell the truth, people look at me like I'm pretentious. "Oh really, the three-quarters-of-an-inch really makes a difference?," they challenge. In an effort to not sound stuck-up, and to save time, I leave out the "three-quarters-of-an-inch" because tacking that onto my height adds an extra split second of conversation with somebody, taking a split second away from all the precious things I have to do in my free time. (Hey, precious seconds - like inches - add up.) I'm either pretentious or a liar. Neither of which are a very good thing.

Oh I have tried to shrink or grow to avoid this dilemma I face daily. But I am always, absolutely, positively, 100% five feet and four and three-quarters-inches. I know I am this very specific height because my mother is exactly 5'5" and I'm shorter than her. And my sister Kristen is exactly 5'4" and I'm taller than her. My mom can reach more things than I can, like change higher lightbulbs than me. So I know I'm not quite 5'5". And I can reach higher lightbulbs than my sister, which makes me taller than 5'4"!

I used to love rounding up and standing at 5'5." It just sounds more sophisticated. More classy. 5'5" is the first height that's in the category of "above average." Who wouldn't want to be above average? But lately I have been standing at 5'4" because the guy I'm dating is only 5'6." Saying I'm 2 inches shorter than him sounds a lot better than just 1 inch. Or the actual 1 and 1/4 inches. I'm liking 5'4". It's cute. It's ladylike. And it's the average height for a woman. Who wouldn't want to fit in with the rest of the crowd?

Thus my dilemma will live on...I am done growing, so this is just something I'll have to deal with for the rest of my life. I guess there are worse things to complain about. But really - from auditioning to dating - it really does matter.

Now excuse me, I have a date with my 5'6" friend. I need to go shrink three-quarters of an inch...